Friday, August 26, 2011

7 pounds of salt….

Why do cows need to lick salt blocks:
When salt intake is below that required to meet the animal’s need for sodium and chloride, the animal adjusts by conserving salt. Urine output of sodium and chloride nearly stops. A continuous low salt intake affects the health of animals through a loss of appetite and weight.  Bluh bluh something else boring and  bluh bluh bluh something else”. (Courtesy of Yahoo!Answers)

 (Where you could find me this past weekend)

I think the above does this cow justice when you ask why I inhaled a cheeseburger (Friday routine), only had ONE slice of pepperoni pizza all day Saturday and shamelessly pulled up to McD’s Drive thru at 10pm. Paid cash for a Angus Quarter pounder with fries like I was meeting a street hooker and didn’t want any proof on my debit card of such dirty encounters. Might be the only time in my life I didn’t care what they did with the Coco Cola. And of course the weekend would not be complete without a fried Shrimp Po’Boy and fries. In case logic and math is not your strongest quality… that is a BOATLOAD of salt and not enough food for a weekend. Now I am well aware that I need to take ownership of my behavior but Saturday was somewhat out of my control. They said there would be lunch…more like a snack before the real snacks get here. Lunch my rear-end. Does a food event organizer not know what a meal looks like? And McD’s was out of pure desperation. Oh wait there might have been an all sausage and bacon omelet the size of my head in there somewhere. All this resulted in the scale been 7 pounds heavier from last week. Needless to say Sunday’s 13 mile run… correction strong 6 miles to bootcamp, 5 painful miles after an hour of bootcamp and a 2 mile walk was by far my worst showing ever.

“And the Award for Worst Athlete Ever goes to…. ILLANA!”

 (I have not figured out photoshop yet, don't judge)

Monday morning Edward Cullen and I had more in common than our passion for fast cars….

(My eyes)

 I was glowing with salt crystals on my skin. Only because I don’t live out near a cow farm I was able to survive the day and make it to the store for REAL food.

     (btw all for less than $85...who said you can't do healthy on a budget. B&J is healthy and I will fight you if you say different)

Just when I was coming to terms with my life been controlled by an 18 week Hal Higdon Marathon training schedule reality bitch slapped in the form of an 13 mile run. This running all the mileage crap is for the birds. You can run your little heart out, run your big wobbly legs off, run off 2 of your 4 ass cheeks but, none of this matters if YOU DON’T EAT RIGHT!!! My life is now run by veggies, mini bagels, and eating all the time. Prior to training I would scream and yell about how annoying the eating 3 times a day thing is. NOW it’s like 6, 7, 100 times a day. What do I do to keep myself somewhat sane during these food infested days? Soda on Thursday cos I am tired and I need to boost, a bag of potato chips on Friday as I have until Saturday morning to get it out of my system, Chocolate milk to get the calories and nutrients I need (love this one) and passionately make out with a bacon cheese burger with caramelized onions on a Friday. Aside from these little treats that make me feel human I live a life of eating healthy and eating more healthy.

(Avo, Tomato on a toasted wrap made at work)

And here I am going around calling myself a Runner… pfft.   

As a side note because even as a rookie Runner and now apparently Eater I do make time for other fun things:

Running partner and I tired something new. We did a wine class with some oil painting. Wait I said that wrong.  We did an oil painting class with some wine. Great time, not ideal for meeting new guys but great second date place (hint for anyone that needs ideas).

Look at how great we did.

So to sum up Week 8 going into 9… we got it done. Need I even mention the lesson learned?

What do you do to keep yourself sane during training and what non-running things did you do to make life normal?

Happy Friday

Friday, August 19, 2011

Well I’m still trying to figure it out….

Week 7 finished out pretty uneventful with a 12 mile on Saturday morning 7am. My running partner is completely to blame for the late start and me threatening to beat people with my very cheap red patent leather high heel the night before had nothing to do with it.

I was a little disappointed that at mile 9.5 I was getting moody.

(I knew she was looking at my ass)

(Trying to humor ourself)

I was, without a doubt, in need of an attitude adjustment considering if we were on race day I would have 16.7 miles still to go. Yes I pulled out a calculator to figure that out, don’t judge. Aside from chitchatting with my running partner we did come across something really cool and no it is not the amazing breakfast I made for myself and my roommate.

(Yes that is waffle with mushed up frozen banana and chocolate sauce. I finished my Choc milk before the photo- op)

No, this is what we came across....
(He is REAL)

Not only is Santa real but HE RUNS TOO! How cool is that. You might have noticed Santa sporting pink hair

(Can you tell I am now feeling like a selfconscious idiot getting my picture taken with a Santa?)

Well he is doing it for a really awesome reason . Once he raises $8500 he is going to shave the pink hair down into a mohawk… badass Big S.

This of course reminded me of my quest for the perfect charity to latch on to and do what I love to do. Help People. For several months now it has been on my mind to combine my passions (running and helping) with an organization but there are so many out there and no one charity is more important than another. (Oh dear what do I do). This dilemma was highlighted yet again when I perused my competition in the Chocolate Milk Refuel Team Contest. Dear lord people are doing such amazing things in their life. But I am not about to let that put a stop to anything. Although I am a huge advocate for the DC Central Kitchen (Speaking of them I am all over this mainly because one my biggest driving forces is my fear of ending up homeless and with no food. Very possible when your family lives 10 000 miles away. 

So aside from been reminded that there are amazing people out there, not overdoing the training (sticking to the schedule) and just having great girl talk with running partner the week has been uneventful.

WAIT a minute!!!!!!

There was the ever so painful 3 mile run on a treadmill. I have decided come hell, high water or lightening I am running outside.
(The treadmill that even Hell would not like)

Now looking at this picture everything looks fine, nothing out of the ordinary, right? Well look again… do you see the door on the mirrored wall? Well that door is smack in the middle of my ability to check my ass out while running. I have lost 2 of my 4 butt cheeks and since there is NOTHING else to do while on a treadmill I would like to take at least one min to critic my hard work.  BUT NOOOOOOOOOO there has to be a stupid door in the way. Lesson learned rather commit suicide than run on a treadmill again. My apologies to those who are sensitive to suicide. 

I digress

Thank you everyone for voting for me. I am so grateful!!!!

Running partner shared this with me:
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living".
Nelson Mandela

Friday, August 12, 2011

Body vs Stubborn Head…Body is the reigning champion.

In an attempt to bring the two lifestyles together I thought a cocktail (notice how I said “a”) on a Friday evening should be nice, followed by a good nights rest before Saturday 6am 7 mile long run. That thought was very valiant (cough cough stupid cough) of me because a 7mile run with 3 hours of sleep and then 5.5 mile run in the evening (did we mention stupid already) all came together at 3am Sunday morning*. Nothing prettier than me sprawled out on the bathroom tile floor trying to break a spike in temperature by absorbing every ounce of cold from the tiles, occasionally mustering up the energy to expel anything and everything in my body. Problem with that is I didn’t eat very well AT ALL last week so this whole adventure just flat out sucked. Luckily I learned my lesson very quickly and now we can talk about something more awesome. By the way the lesson learned EAT FOOD while training, don't have late nights and don’t do more than the schedule says (I know I said that a couple of weeks ago and someone was kind enough to feed me my own words back… thx)

Some may be wondering why I threw in an extra 5.5 miles Saturday. Well, because I got to do the coolest thing EVER. I was able to participate in a mini-Ragnar with some of my running group friends. So for those that don’t know what a Ragnar is I looked up the definition and I got “Ragnar: Definition of Insanity”. No but really here is the link to the description of Ragnar

(At check-in folding map for bra insertion)

So with little to no sleep in me, one visit to a sushi buffet all day and my superhero T-shirt, I laced up and waited anxiously at the start of the 2nd leg for the band to be snapped on my arm.
(1st leg runner coming up to snap me)
(Ragnar band)

Print out of the map folded and shoved in my sports bra and water bottle in hand I jet off from Pentagon City to Logan circle. No idea where Logan circle is but there I go. Less than 1 mile later a group of fellow Ragnar ladies yell out to me “Do you know where you are going” I respond “Sure I do”… I don’t think they picked up on my sarcasm. I struggled my way through the next 3 miles only needing to pull the paper map out of my soaking wet bra 3 times (note to self: paper and sweat don’t work well together).

 Up before P St, and yes I thought gosh I would like to pee right about now, we were signaled up a hill which last I checked no one told me there were hills, but its okay I was going to take this hill and make it mine. Not only did I bitch slap the hill but apparently it was my calling to take the whole Pst and show it who is boss. I was not about to let people pass me or let little orange hand signals on the traffic lights stop me or let stupid pedestrians get in my way. The last mile the only thoughts going through my mind was “girl your feet are lined up, your hips are faced straight ahead and your heart and sights are looking Ragnars and Ultras right in the face, this is YOUR time”. Yes I have been bitten and I have been bitten hard. I gave up on planning every step my life a longtime ago and now that I have surrendered I can see that my higher power is pulling me in a certain direction and that direction involves some crazyass shenanigans. Life is good and only going to get better.
(Bring it on!)

Speaking of better... I am happy to say my running partner is back on track and graced me with her presence for our Wednesday run…. Everything is how it should be again. Food is cooked and ready to be eaten often, running partner is back and life is good. Yippi.

*No I did not puke my guts out from drinking too much.  

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Alcoholics Anonymous may have this all wrong…

Just hand them a pair of sneakers and watch their ability/desire to drink diminish.

What now seems like a lifetime ago, if I was doing the humiliating walk of shame at 6am I usually would not be paying attention to sunsets or views. Usually more concerned with who might see me. Week 5 of Marine Corps Marathon training ended with this view…

The prior week I might have had the same beautiful view but the evening before I was given strict instructions to yell “Wench!! Give me some Ale now!” every time I wanted my beer mug refilled. That is apparently how they roll at medieval dinners and I might have gotten a little too comfortable yelling “Wench” to some random woman (A whopping 4 times). Paid dearly for it on the 9.5 mile run the next morning. Unclear as to if I should be embarrassed that it took only 4 beers to create that mess, my mind was put to ease when a fellow runner shared his story of a drinking adventure that ended…. (We don’t know how it ended cos he is not sure how it ended).

Moral of the story: We think we are runners with a drinking problem but quite frankly we are a bunch of light weights.

This theory was proven yet again when I thought I would surprise my ‘cover girl stunning’ girlfriend with an unexpected visit. Now most of us know that when we go to Grandma’s house she will have treats for us or if we go to Aunties house she will have something special for us. Well, ‘cover girl stunning’ girlfriend always has champagne. Thank goodness I now live within walking distance from her because 2 glass bowls (doubt she owns flutes) later I am regretting the decision to run at 5:30am the next day. You are most likely wondering why I don’t just run in the evening. Well that’s because I was scheduled to indulge in a love affair with many many pieces of sushi at a Happy Hour the next day. 5:30am Come around and I was successful at completing the 3 mile run followed by 2 showers (“huh?” “Why 2 showers Illana?”). I might have forgotten to do everything people do in the shower because I got so wrapped up in stretching while in the shower. So now with everything done that needed to be done I was ready to dress for my post work sushi happiness. I put my sneakers away, skim over my work shoes (aka flip flops) and grab my patent red leather heels all the while asking myself out loud “So lets get this straight. You are willingly walking into a situation that involves drinking knowing full well you have to run 5 mile tomorrow?”. Most people wonder if going to a Happy hour is a good idea because they might do something they regret later that night… runners wonder how much they are going to regret it on their run the next day.